To Wish Impossible Things

Remember how it used to be
When the sun would fill the sky
Remember how we used to feel
Those days would never end
Those days would never end

Remember how it used to be
When the stars would fill the sky
Remember how we used to dream
Those nights would never end
Those nights would never end

It was the sweetness of your skin
It was the hope of all we might have been
That filled me with the hope to wish
Impossible things
To wish impossible things

But now the sun shines cold
And all the sky is grey
The stars are dimmed by clouds and tears
And all I wish
Is gone away
All I wish
Is gone away

All I wish
Is gone away

(Lyrics: The Cure)

Missing him more and more every day ... haven't been blogging because I'm finding it harder and harder to find the words. I'm expecting to go around the bend any minute. The longing is too intense, wishing he was here. Not sure if my heart or my head is going to explode first from missing him.

People are great though. Even 2 months on I still have nightly phone calls from my best friend, visitors still drop by with food gifts, people still tip toe politely around me and let me get away with things I never normally would. I've read about so many others where the visitors and phone calls stopped after a couple of weeks. I know how lucky I am. I know that I'm being looked after.

But OH the INTENSE longing to see him again is overwhelming. That's when I need to pick up the phone and make a call to a friend or jump on facebook to see what everyone else is up to. Even five minutes of distraction makes it easier to keep going with my day. Another reason why I need to blog more. Writing helps me gets my thoughts into focus and calms me. I read somewhere the other day that writing by hand is even more calming. I vaguely remember what it was like to write by hand. I think I may have gotten a cramp last time I tried it though.